Well Jeremy and I met in 2001, started dating in July of that year. We married in August 2003. It was absolutely amazing and if I could I would do it all over again every year! In March 2004 just after 6 short months of marriage we ended up taking in my cousin Marisa while her mom got better with some issues she was having! Marisa was a doll and very easy to take care of but the situation was not fun! After 6 months with us she finally was able to go back to her mom! Who knew that 2004 would turn out to be such a hard year! On July 4, 2004 I lost my grandpa! It was a very sad time after having lost a relationship with him for many years do to lies! And then just after a few short months back with him he passed! So in August of that year we decided we would start trying to get pregnant! Then in October, my uncle Danny passed away unexpectedly! He was only 31 years old and left 2 very little girls behind it was really sad! The sad thing was my Grandpa and Uncle were only 2 of the 9 people I knew that had passed that year!
So in February of 2005 we still had not gotten pregnant so I went to go see the doctor and was diagnosed with PCOS! So they put me on some fertility drugs and sent me on my way! After a few months of no luck we decided it would be best if Jeremy were tested also! So that’s what we did! And I will never forget this day! It was in May of 2005 and we were sitting in the doctors office and the doctor said I can’t believe this but there is no possible way you will ever be able to have a child! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! This was a dream I had for so many years to be a mom! And someone just told me that will never happen! We were devastated! Jeremy and I had gone in separate cars that day! I remember just sitting in the car all alone crying not understanding why this was happening!
So for us it was a matter of becoming parents! It really didn’t matter how we became parents we just wanted to be parents! So it didn’t take long for us to decide to adopt our child! Of course we were still sad for our loss but we were excited where God was taking us! So we looked into many avenues as to where to adopt from! With some good recommendations and after meeting him we found an adoption attorney! We knew it was going to be an expensive process but we wanted to go through it! So in November 2005 we officially hired our attorney! After months and months of preparing for our Dear Birthmother letter and paying over $10,000 we were ready to go in February of 2006! It was so incredible because all the money we had gotten for this attorney was given to us as a gift from our family and friends! They all believed in this process and us and this was their way to help out! The sad thing is after a few months we realized that this attorney was a bad attorney who took people and their emotions and used them! Yes, he took $10,000 from us and did NOTHING with it! At this point we still weren’t willing to give up on the thought of being parents so we decided to become foster parents. After months of preparing we became foster parents on Nov. 20th! I remember when we got the call to say we were getting put on the openings list. I had said so this means we could a call for a baby like tomorrow? I mean I know it won’t happen but that’s what it means right? The funny thing was we did get a call the next day! Our social workers couldn’t even believe it! They said this never happens! Well we were blessed! We welcomed Nikki into our home that day! We couldn’t believe it! She was only 2 weeks old, an itty-bitty
5lbs straight from the hospital!Nikki was one of the best things that happened to Jeremy and I! She was the perfect baby! For being a drug baby she sure didn’t act like it! We were truly blessed the day she joined our family! We knew that when we took Nikki in she was just a foster child and the likely hood of getting to adopt her was unlikely but we did it anyways! So months went by and her parents were not doing anything the courts asked! It was looking really good to get to adopt her!
So January rolls around and next thing we know we get a call for a 2 and 3 yr old boy and girl who were in need of a permanent p
lacem
ent. So we said yes! We were told the 2 year old was a boy and the 3 yr old was a girl! So we got everything ready to take them in! And on January 23 we welcomed Romeo and Maelena to our home! The social worker had gotten it backwards cause the boy was older! But what we didn’t know was it was his 4th birthday the day they came! So of course we threw a last minute birthday party together at Vince’s! I knew from the moment they got out of the car that they were our kids!So after a few months Nikki’s mom decided to get her act together and it was taking the possibility of adopting her away! But nonetheless we loved her every minute of everyday and gave her everything! We loved her as our own! In June 2007 Romeo and Maelena had a court date for termination of parental rights which if it would have happened we would have moved into adoption! But it didn’t happen because their biological father showed up in court wanting them back so he was awarded 6 months of reunification services to show he was a fit father! It was horrible news for us because for months we had been waiting to move to adoption! At that time we knew that there was still one other family member that wanted custody of them! We did end up finding out that they proved to not be a fit family for them! So that got rid of that problem!
August 13th was one of the worst days of my life! My precious little girl that we had spent so much time loving had to go back to her mother! My whole world wa
s crashing in front of me! Nikki was our first foster child so we went into it just completely giving everything we had and allowing ourselves to get attached with her! The day she left I literally packed everything of hers away and put it in her room and closed the door for almost 6 weeks! I only went in the room if I had too! I lost it every time I went in there! My absolute favorite thing to do was get Nikki up from her crib because she had the most wonderful smile! After losing Nikki we needed a break from foster care and life so we decided to take a trip to Alabama to visit some frien
ds! It was just what we needed! It allowed us to clear our heads and find out what it was that God wanted for us! So after lots of prayer we decided that we were supposed to be foster parents! So in Oct. 2007 we welcomed John 10 and Kyle 3 weeks old into our home! And not long after they came Kyle’s brother and sister joined our family! Roy, 3 and Grace 2! (I made up names for them cause they are foster kids still)! Yes we had our hands full with 6 kids! Because of some behavior problems we were just unable to keep John so he left in November. It was around this time that we found out that Romeo and Maelena’s paternal grandmother wanted them and she lived in Australia and that another family member in another state wanted custody of them also! It just never ends! So we got through Christmas, which was just great! It was so exciting to see their faces light up with all they got!In January 2008 we had our next court date that got continu
ed! Of course! On 
January 23rd Romeo turned 5 and we celebrated 1 year with them! We finally made it to court; I actually don’t even remember the date because the last few months have been so hard! Kyle, Roy and Grace left in January and that was nice because we were ready for a break!After a nice break and just enjoying so family time with the kids we were ready to take in so new kids and that’s what we did! Lance 5 and Mike 2 joined us in May! (Again those are not their real names)! Then in June Mark 3 weeks old joined us! We had only agreed to take Mark in because we knew he was short term and that he was! We had him for 5 weeks and then he left! He was a sweet baby we did get a little attached to him!
So this entire time we have had kids come in and out of our home we have prayed and hoped for a newborn baby! Yes, we love Romeo and Maelena and couldn’t imagine our lives without them! But the longing in our heart and the desire of our heart is to have a newborn baby! So out of the blue my aunt Jessica calls me to tell me she has a friend who was pregnant and looking to give her baby up for adoption and needed to still find a family! She wanted to know if we were interested! Heck ya we were! So a month went by before we heard anything and on July 6th my aunt called us to let us know that her friend wanted to allow us the privilege to adopt her son! We had never even met her she was just going off of the friendship she had with my aunt and trusted we were a good family for her son! So that day we found out she was due July 28th! It was great that gave us 3 weeks to prepare for the baby and enjoy some good nights rest before he was born! Wrong!! The next day July 7th at midnight my aunt called me to tell me she was in labor! So she picked me up and we headed to the hospital! I literally met the birthmother that night for the very first time! She was so nice to allow me to be in the room when the baby was born!
After a very long night and day Evan Garrett Lloyd was born at 12:25
pm weighing 7lbs 4oz 19 inches long! It was so amazing to be apart of Evan’s birth! After his first few hours of life they realized he was having difficulty breathing so they admitted him to the NICU! But for being born with no prenatal care he was a very healthy baby! After 5 days in the NICU he was able to come home on July 13th! Jeremy and I were thrilled as well as Romeo and Maelena. Evan was a wonderful baby! Just ate, slept and pooped! We fell in love with him from the day he got here!After we brought Evan home we realized how difficult it was gonna be with Lance and Mike! Lance was a very difficult child and I was so stressed out already and I didn’t want Evan in a stressful environment and Romeo and Maelena didn’t need it either! So Lance and Mike left in August 2008. So August 13th we had our court date for Evan! His birthmother had planned on being there to sign away her rights! Well we were fooled because she had changed her mind and wanted him back! I remember the moment she came to me and asked me “How would you feel if I told you I wanted him back?” I told her devastated! Jeremy was unable to be at court that day because he had to stay home with Evan! My aunt was with me but I still felt all alone! After she asked me that question I just lost it! I told her that she really needed to think about the decision she was making because she wasn’t doing it for herself she was doing it for her family! I begged her please think about what you are doing! Don’t think about what’s best for you; especially don’t think about what’s best for me; think about what’s best for Evan! Because you yourself said you were in no position to take care of a baby and now you can! At that point I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I ran to the bathroom locked myself in the stall and fell to the floor and started freaking out! Until my aunt ran in and helped me calm down! Well it was out of my hands she was getting him back! We needed to enjoy the time we had with him because he was gonna go back after the next court date August 28th. So I knew the next 2 weeks were gonna be the most difficult weeks to come! My poor Evan was leaving and there was nothing to do about it! It was so sad because Evan knew something was wrong! He wasn’t eating like he usually does and he was sleeping like he normally would! He was only happy in my arms and feeling safe! So about a week later we got a call from Evan social worker letting us know that there was gonna be a supervised visit with his bio mom and that there will be a court hearing that day to determine if he could be placed with the aunt! (Because Evan was a foster child he could not directly live with the mom until she proved herself. He ended up being a foster child because when he was in the NICU his mom had left the hospital AMA and there was no one to make legal decisions for him. Sorry I forgot to say that before). So I got Evan already on the day of his visit made sure he had a bath and was smelling nice and good for his visit! Put him in one of his new outfits and packed him up to go! Jeremy had gotten home early that morning from working the night before so I didn’t bother to wake him up to say goodbye thinking nothing of it! It was just a 2 hour visit! So I dropped Evan off with the social worker and had planned on returning in just 2 hours! So I was just about to walk out the door to go pick up Evan when the phone rang, it was Evan’s social worker calling to tell me that court had decided to allow the aunt to have him and that I didn’t need to come pick him up because he has gone home with his aunt and mom! OMG, are you kidding me? We didn’t get to say goodbye. I can’t even begin to explain to you how I felt at that very moment! It has been the most energy, spiritually, & emotionally draining thing I have ever gone through!
Then just this week we were told that our October 7th court date for Romeo and Maelena will most likely be continued until November or December! This is the 4th time that the termination for parental rights has been continued! It isn’t for a really big thing to us but it’s just the point that it’s one more thing holding it up! It’s just getting really old!
All we know is that God is in control! It sure doesn’t seem like it! And we don’t understand it! With Evan we really don’t understand a lot of things! His mom told everyone he died at birth! Why does she deserve him? Why did God allow him to go to such a messed up family? Why did God allow us to name him? So many questions? We don’t understand why we just can’t conceive our own? Why does God allow little rays of hope into our lives just to have them ripped away? So many questions and no answers! But I know I love the Lord with all my heart and even when my road feels like its gonna run out it doesn’t! I know He has a purpose for our lives and I know one of those purposes was to get Romeo and Maelena! We are just very curious as to where we are headed now!!!
Oh and for those of you who don’t know we are changing Romeo and Maelena’s names! Even though its not a legal change YET they are going by their new names Aaden Romeo Lloyd and Abigail Maelena Lloyd! Jeremy and I can’t thank you enough for all everyone has done! It is what gets us through everything! Please continue to keep us in your prayers! We still need to get through this adoption and we still have the desire in our hearts to have a baby!
1 comment:
Dear Amanda, I am Theresa, and I read your stories. I believe all things happen to the good of the LORD. I to am a Godly woman, I am however a widow. I lost my soul mate and the father of my daughter Kendra in 02 when she was only 5, it was devistating, and I questions God as you do about having children. I believe that if you and Jeremy were able to have your own children then there would be many children in the world that would not have the oppurtunaty to be loved by the two of you, and God knew that there are many children that needed and will continue to need the love and security that you and your husband will share with them no matter the time frame. I was raised in a very abusive home, and through the grace of God, He blessed me to be placed with a Godly couple as my foster parents. In that 6 months of living with Nadin and Don Olson I learned what being loved felt like, and what going to bed without screaming, fighting, and watching my parents beat the he** out of eachother was all about. During those short six months i learned to love, trust, and the greatest thing i learned was that there is a God. Without them Amanda I may never have found all those very important values in life. My sister almost died 3-year-ago from cancer, snd all she wanted before she died was to be a grandmother. Amber was carrying my sisters grandson, and then tried to hide it by creating a very serious lie that did not just hurt and affect your family, it hurt and affected us very much as well. When I found out that Amber lied I went to my sister and told her about Evan, but not before Amber had already made up in her mind that she had a change of heart. We found out on Thursday that Evan is not just my cousin, but he is now my nephew as well. I am so very sorry that you and your beautiful family had to go through the pain and heart ache of lossing Evan, but I want you all to know that I pray for your family, and I pray that God will bless you with your new baby, and that all adoptions will be finalized, signed, and legalized so that you all can have your family completed. I am very glad you have forgiven Amber because I am one that use to have a hard time in forgiving people and learned very quickly that having unforgiveness in your heart only leads to depression, and anger and God does not want His children to feel that way. I will 100% send you photos and updates of Evan, because you deserve to know that he is having a good life and that he is being loved and cared for. Yes my family is very crazy and they have alot of issues, but Joey deserved the right to be a part of his son's life, just as you and Jeremy deserve to have a baby that will be 100% yours. I feel really bad because of all the emotional heart ache your family had to go through because of Amber, and I wish I could change it, but like I said before everything that happens to us is for Gods devine purpose. I really believe that you and I could have been really good friends, because you are the kind of person that I have as my friends. I have tried to send you photos of Evan through your myspace, but I am not sure if you were able to recieve them or not.
Please, may I just ask one thing of you? Don't judge me based on my being related to Amber, because I am family to her, but I am not friendly with my family, because I try and have Godly people as my friends and my family are far from God, and my word tells me to separate myself from them and that is exactly what I do. I am an inorcesor prayer warrior, and because of that, and my complete trust and faith in God, my family all call my a Jesus junky, and think that I am crazy because I try and follow the Word of God, and apply it to my daily life. I will comtinue to pray that God open up the windows of Heaven and pour your family out blessings that you will not have room enough to recieve them all. God bless you Amanda, and may you have a very Blessed Holiday this year!!!
Post a Comment